Fear. Is there a day goes by I don’t feel it since becoming a Mama? Fear of the unknown. Fear of what may happen. Fear of what may not happen. Fear of everything and nothing.
The burning love I feel for my twins means I am constantly terrified of losing them. I’m so grateful to live in a country with free healthcare (I wish every country had an NHS) but, as with all things in this messed up world we live in, those with money will always be privileged.
I’m talking here about the fact that the Meningitis B vaccine is not available for my kids, because I had the audacity to give birth to them too soon for them to be eligible. The only way to access the vaccine is to go private.
I’m not the only one panicking. Private stocks are currently run dry due to increased demand and an online petition has – at the time of writing – been signed by over 700,000 people (one of whom is me), urging the government to roll the vaccination out to older children.
As if we didn’t have enough to worry about. As if we needed more reasons to feel helpless as parents, when all we want is to love our children and keep them safe.
I shouldn’t have to choose between my children’s health and spending money I don’t have. I have paid tax and national insurance for many years and for that, I would like to know that I can keep my children out of harm’s way. Maybe I’m living in Cloud Cuckoo Land but access to medicine shouldn’t be limited to those with big bank balances. But then I am ever the idealist.