As a twin mom, there’s often an assumption from fellow parents that I’m done; that having two at once meant I’d never desire anymore children. My views on this depend on how I feel at any given moment; sometimes I miss the newborn stage so much that I feel like I could keep having babies forever, just so that I don’t have to miss out on that feeling. But most of the time, I feel very content with my crazy life and don’t think I could fit more children into it.
One thing I have found, however, is that other people’s kids don’t seem to pull on my maternal instinct. I’m pretty sure every parent feels this, except for those Mother Earth types that love all children and are basically much nicer people than me.
Here are 10 reasons why other people’s kids don’t make me broody:
- My kids are so much cuter.
- My kids are so darn funny.
- That green bogey in your kid’s nose is disgusting. The green snot in my kid’s shnoz is adorable.
- When my kid bangs a wooden spoon on the table repeatedly, shouting, “Bang! Bang! Bang!” my heart swells with pride. When your kid does it, it ruins my lunch.
- My kids’ cuddles are way better.
- Your newborn looks like a wrinkled old man. My girls, of course, came out looking like the most perfect babies ever born since the dawn of man.
- Those random scribbles pinned to my fridge are works of art. Your kid’s work lacks structure.
- Yeah, your 18 month old can talk, but one of my girls sort of said “hair” the other day, so there.
- When your kid learned to crawl, my twins’ crawl was significantly cuter.
- My kids are simply all-round better human beings than anyone ever born.
I don’t know why those encouraging X-Factor moms are considered biased really…